my sunshine.

the other day

kennedy was looking extra cute

i mean i know she is already pretty freakin cute

but this day..

she had that EXTRA cute-ness in her eye

& i had the sudden urge to take a million pictures

ok i always do

but i felt like i need to capture her..right now..

...at that moment.

she looked so happy

her personality was raying out of her like sunshine on hot july day

she was my baby

& before i know

she is going to be a toddler :(

youtube.

since i have been dying of sickness the last few days & still not feel tip-top to write

here is a little vid i toke of my super cute kid

{yup call me dr suess}

zoo trips.

I want to share some pictures from our zoo trips this summer!

I forgot to post over fathers day weekend we went to the Toledo zoo!

I grew up going there like everrryweekend I loved it

but haven't been since we moved from Ohio

So it was really cool to take Kennedy there!

We went with my cousin, his wife who i absolutely adore & their daughter!

 Went to the local zoo twice in the past week, once with my MIL then again for daddy to be there!

doesnt see look like a toddler here? the girl beside her is the little girl i babysit! They felt pretty cool in their double stroller we rented!

Kennedy feeding the giraffe & the stupid lady with the cell phone in the way!

she calls it "doe, doe, doe" not exactly a dog, baby :)

playing in the fountain!

all dry! do you think one day she will wonder why her father is such a dork? haha

adventures in self-feeding.

So I am always reading 

& always reading my "babys first year"

reading articlies, studies; you i'm crazy ;)

& recently seeing some great articiles & chapter in my "babys first year"

about self feeding

it suggested dabbling in it at 8 months

well here we are FREAKING 9 MONTHS

{still in denial}

she has been "wanting" to feed herself for awhile now 
so..

i got the bumbo out, went outside

put a jar {i am kinda slacking on making babyfood lately only because my mom bought a bunch because she is a shop a holic & thought instead of 2 jars for her house she bought like 80}

took her clothes off

& her spoon in front of her

sat back & try not to intervene

& let her explore

it started of a little at the "wrong end"

then she got down to buisness & got messy

 

she misssed a few times

but she got the hang of it

she got a little "hands on"

 some times it hard to see all my parenting choices paying off right away

I try to do things filed under "attachment" & "natural" with my own twist creating my own style without falling under a category

being critized for this thing or that thing

but when I come to decision & tell some people about it; they think I am crazy

this being one of them 

"it will be such a mess" "good luck with that" ect

but it was so cool to watch my daughter "learn" right in front of my eyes

no she wasnt scooping spoon fulls out of the jar by the end of this

but she learn what side to put in her mouth & move the spoon around on her tray to get some on it for a good taste :)

9 months

9 months! 

Holy cheese & rice, when did this happen?

we are almost to double digits!

new about you:

You are a puffs ADDICT. like no joke.

You are recently a little dare devil climbing up & into things

Love being outside, mostly to eat rocks

vocab: mama,dada,nana,doe,awww,ut-oh 

you take a few steps here or there but find it easier to crawl or fall forwards which is is hilarious to you

your eating alot of what we eat now, & love it!

you are really loving books now-a-days which makes me happy

you transitioned into a big girl car seat, but still throw fits when you have to get in it

you as always love your puppies but now try to chase every dog you see you no matter where they are

you had your first trip to our local zoo, feed a giraffe {that you called "doe" aka dog} & a duck!! 

bahahha ;)

You getting bigger & bigger everyday

& we love watching you grow into such a little lady :)

we love you so much!

happy 9 months baby girl!

daredevil.

Ive been busy like always it seem like.

Kennedy is SO close to walking

she takes a few steps but finds it funnier to fall

& recently a dare-devil

Ive been trying to make a goal of a playdate a week

even though I watch a little girl, she is older

& i really need more mom-to-mom convos

we actually had one friday with Ashlee & Maddux from The Story of Us

but of course the one I time I dont take pictures was that day!

Hopefully we will have more soon tho!

this one kills me, one of my good friends little girl is older than her but they play great! they both have their cinderellas & doing the same thing!

a mother love.

Just two nights ago

its was was one of the nights that kennedy just didnt want to sleep in her crib

or in my bed

or on the couch

or the floor

with me

she was wanted to be tightly held by her momma sitting in her dark room

with the soft glow of her new nightlight

i was looking at her in complete awe that this little beautiful human was mine.

she attempted to stand up in my lap

struggling grasping on my shirt & grabbed onto my shoulders

& stood

took my cheeks & licked kissed my face

then we rubbed our foreheads together which is our "butterfly kisses"

& she laughed just like she does everytime we do

with a her cute little now 2 tooth'd smile

& i started to cry

she laid back in my arms & i sobbed.

recently a old more than best friends father passed away

& it got me thinking what if something happens to me?

god forib it does

would she know how much I loved her?

would whomever was taking care of her know?

know about our little songs that I make up that make her so happy

that "you are my sunshine" is the only thing that can instantly make her stop crying?

that she has to be on her left side with a blankey under her chin..wrapped around her body..then thru her legs to make her fall asleep?

will they know the difference between her whines & cries?

know she just needs to be held? or when she gets in her mood of just needing to be alone in her crib in her room?

know her likes & dislikes?

will the understand when she sits/stand with her mouth wide open panting like a dog means she wants a kiss?

that when she is upset she prefers her bunny blanket over all others?

I held her sobing, hoping that no one will need to know those things but me.

 it was just one of those nights that I couldnt hold her tight enough, kiss her just one more time, & time went by to fast

being a mom.

I recently sat down with a friend who is a few years older than me

she was telling me about she has been running into friends that just got there masters & have these awesome jobs

& when they asked her what she has been up to

& she said she was embarrassed cause all she can say is "i had my baby:

& it seriously broke my heart

she saying with sadness to me how all she is, is a mom

& then just litterly just about a half hour ago

ran into a girl I went to high school with

& was telling me she graduated from her 4 years at school

& was now working & she "has the best job ever"

& i was "just being a mom right??"

which got me thinking.. when did being a mom be so not a accomplishment?

not that being a working mom isn't

but when did "just being a mom"

be looked down upon, like that is ALL you do?

maybe its just because all I ever wanted to be was momma

I went to college but it just wasn't for me

I got my CDA, instead of my degree in early childhood development

which I barely got by getting since i had recently started dating Brandon & that was much more fun haha

maybe that makes me "unaccomplished" or a "loser"

but I got married to the love of my life

bought my amazing childhood home

conquered the impossible & got pregnant

then I stayed pregnant, being unbelievably sick

& laid in bed hooked up to a pump & IV for over 2 months

then I had a healthy beautiful little girl

& am taking care of her, my husband & home 

not to mention my annoying 3 dogs

{not in that order ;) }

to me that is a pretty big accomplishment

I love my photography business 

I am SO blessed to be able to do what I love all the while still being able to be home doing the one thing in life i truly believe i was placed on this earth to be...

...A MOM

I don't know if it is the stigma of those reality shows i can't seem to miss every week night

the full-time nannies

or the supercute kids that do nothing wrong

or the teen mom episodes that say HEY Maci is like 12 & does it 

But being a momma is hard.

& IS A JOB.

So when someone asks me what I have done since highschool

I have started a family, a truly beautiful family

I may  not have a piece of paper with a degree on it

but i get sloppy kisses, bites on my nose, "mommas" & instant smiles followed by arms up in the air dying to be picked up whenever i walk into a room

& that my friends

is all i need.