update!

I hate that I haven't updated!

I am so sick, not to the extent as past pregnancies but its up there

Friday night I started up bleeding again..& like ew gross glup thing

I was terrified.

Dr said if i went thru one pad in an hour to go to the ER ASAP.

well i didn't but i did notice the more active i was/on my feet the more blood I would have

so he told me to stay off my feet.. yeah I had a wedding the next day not possible.

& being the photographer I was on my feet around 12 hours that day

& the next day we had a birthday party & a session

I has nervous since my nauseousness was dwindled down to like nothing

I was afraid that on Friday that was more than just "over doing it"

but here i am today puking 4 times a hour

litterly so weak

brandon tried to get me out of the house & took me to lunch & walmart

he ended up having to carry me inside the house when we were done

so here i sit; trying to get discs burned & blog a little.

I have a destination wedding this weekend in Tennessee

the bride & groom are paying for not only me but the hubs & kennedy too!

gas,food & lodging plus my wedding fee

so i really want to feel better by then!

my mom offered to keep kennedy which would be super helpful

but that long away from me is freaking me out.

never ever been more than 24 hours away from here..

we will see!

hopefully my next post will be less sick-y! :(

happy halloween!

this was supposed to post last night but didn't :(

me a year ago yesterday!

I haven't gotten to download the pics of the ultrasound

but oh 2 weeks ago, i went into my appt actually kinda werid. I had this deep feeling that nothing was going to show up on the ultrasound.

But sure enough as soon as it started she {yes i already think/know gummy is a girl} was kicking, & sucking on her hand!

on the pictures we got you can see her foot with each & every toe! we measured at 9w5d!

I was bawling. I have been so sick,so so sick. The being pricked for an IV what seems like everyday you really get discouraged y aknow? but that. that made it all worth it!

speaking of sickness, it had gotten better im still probally getting sick 6 times aday which is such a HUGE improvement. I am getting so energy back. But i still cant get thru a grocery trip to walmart.

I had another appt yesterday.

I had been kinda concerned that maybe my blood pressure was up, i had been getting a very tight chest with chest pain & seeing stars & being lightheaded ect. So he said he hadnt looked at my blood work from my last appt 2 weeks ago so he would get it.

He came back in & kinda stood there for awhile just watching me & kennedy {brandon couldnt get off work} & said that once again my panel came back & i had little to no nutrition, i had no potassium & so many other things. He said he had no idea how i  came in to his office that day, let alone with a 11month old in tow. Then he said what made me litterly cry all day & am now that im typing this:

"I came in here with full intentions to some what beg you to never do this to your body again, You body just can't do pregnancy & doing this again could put your life in danger, until I just sat there & look at you with your daughter. & then I had full understanding how why you do this"

Cue the freakin waterworks.

I know i am a good mom, but to hear from a complete stranger that he picked up on that & understood made me the happiest person in the world.

Because to be honest I have questioned myself. Why did I want to get pregnant again knowing I would go thru all this & take away so much from kennedy,my family & business from being so sick. I was starting to think that I was probally the most selfish person on the planet. & hearing that, made me re tract to all the reasons I am a mom & wanted to be one for so long.

Also, the cerclage will be at 16 weeks!

On a different note, birthday is just 2 week away yall!

like freakin way to close! I cant believe it!