the little things

Sometimes I shamefully & selfishly get really caught up in the Why's of our life

. Why things are so hard: Why is it so hard for us to get pregnant when everyone else just "drinks the water"; why is so hard to stay pregnant, why is pregnancy so hard on me, why this, why that. 

& even tho we are incredibly blessed to have two little babies that we were told we would never have; when so many get told that & really dont get a happy ending; infertility & babyloss will always be apart of our lives; sneaking up when we least suspect it.

One thing I sometimes am not so quick to say as I complain about the why's is how grateful I am.

Yes, this journey has been so incredibly hard; on me, brandon, our families & our marriage.

But there is so much of the little things we dont take grant it, like any "normal" family would.

Like the picture above.

You see I dreamt my daughter, when I was little I dreamed of her almost everynight; I happily told my teachers when I grew up I was going to be a mommy & sunday school teacher {apparently I didnt know that gig paid} & everynight as a adult I dreamed, begged, cried & prayed for her.

One thing you think about when dreaming or thinking of your family is the art work that will be plastered all over your fridge; that was one thing I know I couldnt wait to see!

So when kennedy made her first "drawing" it was so much more than that...

it was my dream coming true right in front of me; framed & in the hall for me to pass each day.